Talking to your child about their adoption

On Sunday we celebrated one year since the launch of OFF The WALL Ministry.  We had our fourth OFF The WALL Meeting.  Our first meeting was in December of 2010 where we spent time praying about what God would have the people of CTR do in the area of orphan care ministry; a ministry we felt was precious to the Lord.   The result of that time of prayer was the decision to start a bi-monthly (once every other month) meeting to support and encourage families in their adoption or foster care journey.  We realized that there is often much emphasis put on the PRE-adoption journey but that families often need even more help and encouragement in the POST-adoption journey.  There should be attention paid to both aspects of the journey.  We want to be a resource and an encouragement to families in all aspects of orphan care.

In June, Carey Hughes (pastor at CTR) gave a talk on "Why Christian's Should Adopt."

In September, Gary and Carli Robinson gave a talk on "Journeying Through Adoption: The Privilege and The Cost."

On Sunday evening, Greg and Terri Bade spoke on "Talking to Your Kids About Their Adoption."  One of the highlights of the talk was hearing three of the Bade's children share some of their adoption story.  Greg and Terri shared with us "9 BEs".

Here they are:

1. Be Open - Keep communication lines open, let your child know it is safe to discuss their adoption with you.

2. Be Honest - Don't embellish the story to make all the hard spots rosy.  Find a way to put the hard spots in as graciously as you can.

3. Be Brief - They do not need all the details at one time.

4. Be Discerning - Answer only what they are asking.

5. Be Age Appropriate - Keep your story to their age level.  You can add details as they get older.

6. Be Positive - Always honor birthparents.  Show God's plan.

7. Be Flexible - They want to talk when you least expect it.

8. Be Protective - Their story is precious to them.  Keep it special.

9. Be Gospel-Centered - This is the story of what God did in their lives.  Point them always to HIM.

The Bades did a fantastic job of sharing their wisdom with us in a transparent way.  They have much experience to bring to the table having brought 10 children into their family through many different adoption avenues.  One of the endearing qualities about the Bades is that they don't try to present an image of "having it all together."  How could you with 10 kids running around, right?

What a joy it was to see families coming from many different churches.

Looking forward to our next meeting as well on Friday, January 27th.  That will have to be for the next post.  Wait for it.  It's going to be exciting.